www.DemocraticFundamentalism.org - The Daily Rags - Media

To the media: Remember that you have the power to control the message delivered to the people. Whatever you speak into existence will occur. Be sure that your phrasing and the ideas you express reflect the vision you have for the future. That doesn't necessarily mean expressing a bias or opinion.

To general site surfers: In a way, I don't really approach this page as a page I want to have completely public. This is a page where, if you don't follow the trail of the conversation, don't know who I'm addressing or what the issues are, this page will likely just seem weird. Sometimes, I make comments that only 1 person in politics or the media would understand.. sometimes I say general stuff or express my complaints. I just look at it as 1 more example of freedom of speech. Like tv and radio and such they don't have to listen. But often, they do.. some appreciate it, some get angry. That's their right as well :} I have no formal or even indirect affiliation with influence with any media or political figures. I just speak my mind, and sometimes, people listen. Sometimes, I actually say something worth listening to. :} - Editor

Favorite remarks from site user:

"Good job on keeping things cool and well spoken. Your website exhibits quite a bit of control - your adjectives could include evil bastards every now and again without being extreme."

and, regarding a piece I wrote for another purpose called

"The Privilege & Honor of Serving A Commitment"

"...statement is right on and could have been written by me, I have always felt this passionately about justice and equality! The sentiment expressed there is the only viable goal for humanity I think.

11/30/2002 - 1:30 pm pt

There's a part of my philosophy that includes the observation that everything everyone does has an element of self-interest to it. And all of what I'm going to say is observation, no criticism intended.

Musicians love music, but they wouldn't be on the stage if they didn't get satisfaction from an audience. I always loved doing radio, but I always knew, deep down, that I wouldn't be doing if it wasn't for the fact that, while doing my show, it put me in charge, and I loved the attention. People would not run for president if there wasn't some deep down goal to be recognized and understood, as well as express their deepest wish that people could be free and well and to empower people to live full and loving lives.

For me, there was always a sense that I could accomplish anything I wanted to accomplish. And I could empower anyone to accomplish whatever they desired and committed to do. For me, there has never been a greater drive or satisfaction than to be a part of what makes other people flourish.

But, what most people cherish in this world are of little value to me. Money is nice, but it accomplishes little or nothing in terms of making people whole. All the trappings of the American Dream... marriage, a family, a home.. all of those things are nice bu tthey are meaningless without the truth of people relating intimately.

I always loved the sentiment of "two hearts beating as one". I believe that kind of love is possible, but difficult to locate in this world of facades and protectionism. In that vein, many people believe I'm one of those people who has been successful and then failed and been successful and then failed again. Many people have told me they wish they could be more like me. To many people, I show up as bigger than life.

What they experience is the person in me who is described as unabashed, a leader of high stature, one who thinks out of the box, and as one who does not look the part. I am a holder of the vision, the big picutre, the hope that others have lost, the dream that others try to bury inside their hearts and ignore because of their knowledge of what they know is possible, what responisibilites they have in creating the world they complain of when they speak their desires, and the responsibilities they turn their backs on in order to acquire short-term gain, or to avoid whatever persecution they may encounter because of the truth of their truth, their objection to a society in decline suppressed by fear of rejection and alienation. They stand not for what they believe, they stand to protect their individual selves from what they fear. But when they speak, they speak as though they are firmly opposed to the injustice and suffering in the world.

For many years, people have turned to me for comfort in their times of need. In the last few months, I have inspired others to take on being who they believe they should be in the matter of this world. A few say they believe they are to take up where Martin Luther King left off... where various famous and influential people have left off in their causes in the world. But, because of this self-interest, many times at the level of narcissism, they are not interested in creating unity. For they have no trust in others. Their leaders and icons and symbols have failed them. They have no faith.

In a way, it's like me and this web site. I didn't start it to promote myself, I did it to empower people. And I did, and I'm glad I did. But, in the process, especially those in the media who I had gotten the impression had actually checked me out to se who I was, what they were looking for were reasons to invalidate me, as opposed to seeking what I have to offer. Like any person willing to give themselves to a cause, I have acted out my frustration and anguish at the lack of understanding, the rejection of me personally, and how others are willing to take what I have to say and use what is useful, and use it to their advantage, so long as I remain silent in my world, which apparently has been deemed unworthy of participation in the work that needs to be done... I'm not good enough, or I don't act just right.. I don't fit the picture of one who fits into the game.

The very people who I would otherwise consider my allies in a war would kill me at the end of the war just to protect their power and authority just as certainly as they would want me to save their lives in the heat of battle.

And I think of the phrase "who said the world was fair?" and I wonder why we supposed Christians are so willing to accept the corruption of our world and our hearts, and turn our backs on the God we claim so much to be our guide and inspiration. I look at my own life, and see that, while it's true that I have the power to cause my own success, that my real failures in life have occurred as a direct result of other people's crimes.

But, still, I am supposed to take solace at the fatalism of a world that lies about its commitment to justice, and applauds those who get away with defrauding everyone they can get away with, as long as they can get away with it... as long as they walk away with the money, and all the symbols of the things we have been trained to believe are of value. All the things we are willing to destroy each other to attain. In the name of a system inside a government and a country we say is divined by God. I watch commercials that say "Success must be earned". But the word "earn" these days means going along with injustice, demeaning treatment of those who are "beneath me" and willing to trust me... being willing to turn my back on those who are in need in order to be sure that my own riches grow.

I simply cannot, in good conscious, participate in such hypocrisy. My will to live is strong, yet I would find it preferable to die than to acquiesce to such depravity. I would prefer to suffer than to turn my back on the morals and ideals that I have believed in so long, the righteousness of America and its people, and the fundamental truth of the word of God. And it so saddens me to believe that those are the real choices available in the world today.

I have always believed in the institution of marriage. I grew up believing in the American Dream. I have been a romanticist to the hilt, a musician who simply loves to make music, an artist who simply loves creation. And I have been trained to suppress such things.. by women who have become so cynical that they cannot accept a gift, because they perceive it to be a potential source of control or ability to mainpulate them; I quit sharing my music with people because I was accused of using it to get women into bed.

And my belief in marriage is still there, but my faith in its realization is nearly gone. But only because marriage is no longer a commitment between people; it is a financial arrangement, a symbol of security, and a contract between 2 people not much better than a business partnership created to generate and split earnings and riches. But to me, a marriage is something for people to share. And what there is to share is the knowledge of understanding of one another, that there is someone there to empower and support you, to empower and support.. All in all, that person is a symbol of someone you can trust and depend on on every level. Granted, there is no such thing as perfection. But intent and truth, that is another story.

In my marriage, I was offended that my wife admitted that her initial attraction to me was based on her perception, after hanging out with me and watching me interact with others, that I would be wealthy one day. I've actually had numerous women say that to me. I didn't see that as them being bad people, I saw it as a disappointment that it took such external things to cause attraction. And it's not like ever been described as unattractive physically. But at least, if it was a physical attraction, it would have been about something about me as a person.

I recall one job I had where I actually believe I did more good than anywhere I've worked. I'll always remember the exchange when the personnel manager told me I had the job. She justkept looking at me and saying, over and over again, "I was actually in favor of another person getting the job. He looks the part." And, in most things, it's true, I don't look the part. But, that's the way the world works. Though we all mainly agree it shouldn't.

Last night, the woman I live with asked me to marry her, again. She said, I want to be married to your vision. This is a very influential woman, with the ability to move mountains when she applies herself to causing something. This is the same woman who told me she "cajoled me" into a relationship in the first place because she believed I had the power, wisdom and knowledge to end poverty in the world. Surely, it was flattering that she would think so much of my skills, but I asked her, couldn't we have been honest, and still saved the world and not been in a personal relationship such as this. And she wanted me to forgive her, and forget that her attraction to me was based on my value to her cause.

And I tried. But I could not forget that once again, in a rare exposure of myself, trusting someone as I did her, that I was lied to and was expected to live a lie in order to fulfill someone else's goals for the world. And, what's most incidious about it, is that in the many things I have assisted her with on some very big social programs and passing legislation, she has been the star and hero of the day when it was through, and my name was either not mentioned, or I was viewed as that guy who always wanted to do things a little differently. I've given succesful slogans and designed campaigns and helped many suffering people. I'm proud of that. I made the difference, but I was not even given a kind word of thanks or congratulations. As much as I'd like to think I'm above needing other's approval, I am human, and I have a desire to just have people know that I cared enough to give it everything I have, and be willing to fail, in order to accomplish things that I believed were more important than myself. And to respect that I am that kind of person in the world. But it doesn't seem to work that way.

When I began this, I was sending emails and articles to people and telling them God Bless You and God Bless America... but people could not be with that passion. I saw some people get pumped up at times... a lot of times... I know I've changed numerous conversations.. but I can't get over the fact that so long as I was willing to give to others to enhance their skills or knowledge or perspective, I was welcome. The moment I attempted to advance my position in order to do greater good, I was perceived to be a nut, a problem, someone to get rid of. I once told someone, I don't need to win to win. It isn't about glorifying myself. All I really wanted was for at least one person to acknowledge my contribution, and act like they understood that the whole of my effort was selfless.. except for that human part of me that wanted to be understood, possibly even be appreciated.

All my God Bless You's and such were not an expression of a fenatical religious outlook or to create an image. They were me, digging down to the depths of my truth. What I really believe in.

I became interested in studying current world events from a theological perspective of Bible verses I heard on tv. There is plenty of worldly evidence to prove the direction we're heading in is dangerous. But I read those Bible verses, and, in the long run, it has proven to me that we well may be in apocalyptic times. People think I read the Bible to prove religious doctrine. I actually read it, hoping to find that I am wrong about what I read and believe and, now, fear, on behalf of the people of this world.

I have never feared death. Like most people, I fear physical suffering. But I never feared death. Living in nature, you truly come to understand that death is a part of life. Just as you learn that the food chain is just that. It's not personal at all. It's a means that God gave us to survive. Nothing more or less. The balance of nature and the universe. All things have purpose. The part we have mistakenly interpreted is that the purpose should be our purpose. God never said, live in community and peace, unless you have a chance to make a buck.

The current times have the possibly of such great world suffering and injustice and oppression. Yet, I see that most people in the psoition of power, and seeking power, as people who have sold out to the game of leadership, and have little commitment to real leadership. People more afraid to lose power and control and money than to stand for what's right. And it's the very reason they lose elections. Losses the blame on others. Anyone can be a brown-nose or a yes man.

For me, I see the potential of all this suffering... I'm really not all that worried about myself, because I know how to survive in nature, and I know how to defend myself in the wild and in hostile environments. I would have made an excellent soldier. They ended the draft the year my number 150 came up, and I would have been drafted. It was Viet Nam, and the government would not allow me to register as a conscientious objector.

Like I said, I have never been afraid of death. I never claimed to understand birth, I mix together various religions and I can make the theorhetical cases for creation and reincarnation... and if there was any conclusion I canme to about it al long ago, it was that earth is heaven, even if you include the concept of being suspended in a pergatory, or that ther are truly only 144,000 souls.. they all have a certain ring of truth. And what I decided is that what happened before birth and after death was irrelevant. That what is important is the walk I have in this life. And what's important about this life is not saving the world or becoming wealthy, but, rather, being true to the beliefs and values that I believe in, holding true to my "deal", whether anyone else believes it or not.

I honestly believe I have been true to my beliefs, and to my promises to God about my conduct as a Christian, and as a part of this community of humanity.

Like I said, I never intended to become religious. I still don't think I am. I am an American, a person in a country that claims to base itself on the teachings of God who gave us the Bible. A book everyone mocks when someone dares to bring it up. A God people hate to hear about when it cramps their style in any way. And preachers like Falwell and Graham and Robertson who lie in order to use the church to gain control of a nation, and the world. And it's all there in that Bible, the Bible I read because of my curiosity about some verses that were read on a tv station.

And I don't know if they fed me those verses on purpose or not, and it was on more than one program in the course of just a couple of days. And what I read when I followed the trail and read all the cross-references so that I could really understand what it meant and how it related to the world today was astonishing, and contained a great deal of things I still, to this moment, would prefer not to believe.

But I couldn't ignore what I read. I couldn't help but realize that the descriptions of this guy known as the Son of Man, who is not Jesus... that the descriptions of the life and person and actions of this person were incredibly similar to my own life, my own beliefs, the path I chose in life and the bizarre trail of injustices I have been subjected to.

And I've talked about synchronicity... that's a very mild way to describe what I have experienced... there are those out there who think they know what I'm talking about... but I haven't told you even 1/10th of what I've experienced, what I see occurring in the future. Imagine having a coincidence occur once a day. Then, imagine having an existence where 24 hours a day, no matter what you do, think say, something else occurs in the world that's related to it. Many people thought I was nuts in the beginning... I was overwhelmed by it too... and now they're coming back and telling me stories about their experiences based on what I've told them. And it runs the gamut from world events to the weather.

But I start communicating with the person who first "gaveme" the verses... so many things occurred before I stared reading the Bible... and so much more afterward... and I thought they understood. I thought they must be a part of it... someone must have been a part of it, for it to happen like it did. There were times when I would write stuff for my web pages, and before I had even posted them to the web, there would be a new report of something I wrote about, something I feared, that would appear on the tv. There were emails I sent that, minutes later, would be the kind of scenario that would be talked about on the air minutes later... off the wall stuff I'd write to friends... movies that would have characters that would be true descriptions of my life, detailed descriptions.. movie after movie after movie...commercials that would appear 10 minutes after I'd send an email on a subject that. I'd be talking to people about a topic, and just when I'd refer to a story I'd seen days beofre, suddenly, it was on my tv screen and relieved me of the requirement to remember detail. You have no idea.

And, all I asked for the longest time was for someone to 1) tell me if they minded me contacting them and 2) tell me if what I perceived was true, so I could continue my life without doing so based on a misinterpretation of what was occurring... and this person couldn't even show me the respect to tell me to go away when I asked if I was a nuisance. And wouldn't even tell me the truth when he knew I was counting on something that to me, would have been the most incredible miracle and gift I'd ever received. It's like my parents. I can understand it, but I can't condone. And like my parents, who I loved, there was a part of me that hates them for it. In this particular case, I can honestly say it was the single most hurtful disappointment and betrayal and deception of my life. And I don't even know why they did it to me.

With all this going on, I finally had to take on that I'm just a guy doing what certain types of guys do in situations like this. Only now, I get to deal with the indignity of having the audactiy to be willing to ask for empowerment to continue doing things that I believe are important. And the response I get, being someone willing to volunteer to do whatever it takes to accomplish a comon goal, is to be treated as someone who's weird and whatever. We have a guy parading around, calling himself the president, saying we should be more willing to do volunteerism. Why volunterr? So you can get labeled a chump while others are reaping glory off of my labors?

I've been trying to volunteer for quite some time now.. and the only response I get from anyone is "Give me your money". More proof that my so-called leaders have no interest in me as a person, or anyone else... except their place in the power structure. You may think I say that out of anger... you're wrong. It's what I actually believe. If my so called leaders were actually interested in being leaders, they would stop perpetuating the lies and actually do something. Like, I'm supposed to honor and empower all of you, because that's my place in life. But my leaders never empower me. They just take and use. Show me the proof otherwise. I wish I was wrong.

And, with all this going on, I have also had to take on that I am this guy called the Son of Man... it's not like a job you get to choose or deny. It just is. I wish I was wrong about this. I really do. I hope I'm wrong. And as I weigh the evidence, and look at what's occurring and try to figure out what to do... like, what would I do if I was just a guy, like I am, and what would I do if I was the other guy. And, for the most part, there is little difference. Except, that as a human, I would expect that people who talk so much about being a part of community and caring for one another actually would. And, the responses I've received from people, and/or lack thereof, plays out exactly like the Bible says it will.. especially the part of looking to those I consider my allies, and being abandoned. As the Son of Man, and the things that person would do, I can only take my advice from the Bible.. and it says, over and over again... keep speaking the word of God, and maybe people will listen. And if they don't, 1/3 of the life on the planet will die, and if they still don't listen, 1/3 of the life on the planet will die... well, for you out there who actually understand the news you are reporting... it's happening...

Like I keep saying, it doesn't have to go down like this. And I could help. I've given to begging and pleading because I so don't care about my image and "what's in it for me"...

You have no idea how much I wish I could just say I'm crazy and let it all go... I don't want to believe the things I experience either...and there's so much more I could tell you to provide context... but, I really don't want the job. I see how to do it. I know what it would cause and what the outcomes would be. And they're not at all pleasant. And the part I dislike the most is the part of the Bible that says there will be many who want the job, and take delight in promoting themselves as some sort of master or guru.. and the real guy will wish that he didn't have the job... and I look at myself and my life-long philosophies.. I don't want to be a preacher... my only fantasies about music were to hear 1 song on the radio and the chance to play one song to an audience at the Greek Theatre... I love radio and broadcasting, but I just don't fit in with the - let's say - moral fiber of that industry. The only thing I really care about is people, and the only people who come close to seeming like the kind I agree with treat me with disrespect and ignore me... except for all the stuff they can take and use. And I love them, and I hate them. But mostly, I see them as just part of the grand deception.

And so, I look at what I should do. And it seems my choices are simple: 1) support the efforts of people who, like so many others, mean well, but aren't willing to address the actual issues and take the actual steps that will solve anything, in which case, I will have wasted my time... 2) I could run for President and start a public conversation that would certainly make a difference, but cause me to be even further ridiculed and hailed as crazy by those who are afraid to be found out to be in agreement with me because they're too chicken-sh** to take a stand 3) I could follow the scriptures and be ridiculed and hated, or 4) I could take the other approach, and just go somewhere remote and ignore it, and hope I don't get destroyed in the meantime. And If I was to truly do what the Bible says, I wuld do 3 and 4 at the same time.. because it says that if people won't listen, to just wait until enough catastrophe and suffering occurs.. as it says... "wait until they're drowning and are willing to be saved"... but all that will be painful to watch. And I believe it is the only thing to do at this time.

You may wonder, why do I say these things and open myself up to modre ridicule? Because I made a promise to God, and I wrote in my own words, that I would not deny my beliefs and faith to avoid persecution. And, in the last few weeks, I have. because I feel threatened by those people who I foolishly believed were my friends. But, whether I eventually emerge as a political leader, or if I have a mission from God to carry out, it will all come out anyway. The only problem is, if there is a Biblical linkage, then the sooner people know, the more suffering will occur. I can just se the people who claim to believe in God mocking the idea that I might have a mission from God...

I've made lots of excuses for why I haven't done news reports more consistently... the real truth is, I haven't because I'm afraid to say what I feel compelled to say... I'm afraid of what it will cause... I don't want people to get hurt because of me, even though I'm aware, and a few of you are aware, that things I have said may have caused people to become targets. There are many people I mention on this website in a particular context who have had bad things happen to them within a day or two of me mentioning them. It's why I stopped putting people on the New Patriot list. And the few I did at the end of it were all mostly Republicans or of extremely high visibility. You might want to notice that. There are people amongst you who know that what I'm saying is true. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not. But it has occurred many times.

I have to admit, a certain part of writing this was to say "If you really have faith in God, then maybe you should give greater consideration to empowering me. " I don't expect that. It's another of those wishes that would be an indication of the idea that I'm dealing with people who actually do have clue. Who actually believe in the God and Christian values we hear people talking about all the time.

The other reason I'm writing this is, in a way, a probable farewell. I have no faith left in people. I have no faith in them because I have no faith in our leadership. I have no faith in peopl ewho would use what I have to say to their own benefit and glory, and ridicule me and treat me with disrespect.

And there's a part of me that doesn't want to say something that I wish I didn't think.. and that is, no matter how much I care about people, no matter how much it pains me to see people suffering, that I can't do it all myself. And I won't continue to go around begging and asking people to believe me, or to ask them to even treat me like someone other than one more of millions beneath their feet, too common to have value... And I believe that the only thing is to only the suffering to continue until people come their senses. It's not what I want. It's an instruction from the Bible.

And I so hope I'm wrong. But I don't believe I am. What I am, though, is humiliated, feeling abused, deceived more than I have ever felt deceived... and more.. that there are no leaders in politics or tv or any other form of leadership that can be trusted...

I so wish that instead of having been deceived, that you would have just let me go off into the country to be by myself. It's way too late in the winter to do that now, and expect to survive. But it may well be all that's left to me at this time. Why should I be willing to follow and assist those who would treat me so rudely and disrespectfully. To empower that would be to fight a war against myself.

So this is likely goodbye. I say that with love, with hate, and with apprehension. And I say it with the hope that you all remain well, and that the lies being perpetuated are not the ones that destroy you.

Who said the world is fair? God. It is the free will of people who have made it unfair. As Martin Savidge might say, the unfairness is something that is issued by people, and not an almighty power on high. Maybe one day, people will understand that empowering all people is more beneficial than allowing even one to be harmed in the name of some other perceived good.

And when all is said and done about me... I will walk away knowing that although I have not fared well in terms of how this world defines and values people based on their wealth and willingness to turn their backs on their beliefs for personal gain... I'll feel good about the person I've been, the compassion and healing I've been able to provide, and for having walked a path that is true to my beliefs in every way, and responsibilities as a person.. in my book, that's the only thing that really counts.

As for you all, I pray for you, and I hope I'm wrong.

In many ways, I thought of you as my friends. I know I was wrong, and foolish to have expected that of you. Please forgive me for trusting and being willing. That is the only thing of which I believe I am guilty.

God Bless You,

Chuck

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